But it also relates to my life currently.
Lately, I feel like I am at war with myself. I feel like I am wasting my summer away when I could be spending time with people or being productive. But I am struggling with finding ways to accomplish either of the items previously stated. I don't really have friends in St. George anymore...and finding a job was absolutely ridiculous and a waste of time. Having all of that basically getting slammed in my face hasn't really been the best motivator for me thus far.
And another thing that is really getting me down is the fact that: A. my best friend that i literally talk to every day is leaving for 2 years in 10 days... and B. my other friend that I thought would be here for me through it doesn't even talk to me anymore. I wish I knew how he was right now, and what I did to make our friendship this frustrating to the both of us. I pray every night that somehow everything will be fixed and that he will return my phone calls...
I just have felt very lonely for almost a month now. I don't like it. I try and fight it. Most of the time it doesn't work.
But this week will be a great week. Wanna know why?
1. Hannah is back in the U.S. FINALLY. i miss her face and errrything so we are going to do a TON of catching up and partying. heck yes. :]
2. I get my longboard this week. Freakin stoked. :]
3. I get to hopefully see Kason and his family this Saturday before he leaves on his mission! Maybe I'll finally get the picture of us that I have always wanted and he has avoided in order to win a bet. Well the bet is over now kid. I WILL get that picture. End of story.
4. I am tired of being sad, so I am going to make this week great, no matter what :]
The 'Warbreaker' that ultimately decides when the war with myself is over?
Me. I decide when to be happy again. I decide what to do with my life. And I am finally deciding to make my summer what I want it to be. :]