Warbreaker

...is the title of my favorite book. Yes I am rereading it at the moment. I love it a lot and it gives me something do to.

But it also relates to my life currently.

Lately, I feel like I am at war with myself. I feel like I am wasting my summer away when I could be spending time with people or being productive. But I am struggling with finding ways to accomplish either of the items previously stated. I don't really have friends in St. George anymore...and finding a job was absolutely ridiculous and a waste of time. Having all of that basically getting slammed in my face hasn't really been the best motivator for me thus far.

And another thing that is really getting me down is the fact that: A. my best friend that i literally talk to every day is leaving for 2 years in 10 days... and B. my other friend that I thought would be here for me through it doesn't even talk to me anymore. I wish I knew how he was right now, and what I did to make our friendship this frustrating to the both of us. I pray every night that somehow everything will be fixed and that he will return my phone calls...

I just have felt very lonely for almost a month now. I don't like it. I try and fight it. Most of the time it doesn't work. 

But this week will be a great week. Wanna know why?

1. Hannah is back in the U.S. FINALLY. i miss her face and errrything so we are going to do a TON of catching up and partying. heck yes. :]

2. I get my longboard this week. Freakin stoked. :] 

3. I get to hopefully see Kason and his family this Saturday before he leaves on his mission! Maybe I'll finally get the picture of us that I have always wanted and he has avoided in order to win a bet. Well the  bet is over now kid. I WILL get that picture. End of story.

4. I am tired of being sad, so I am going to make this week great, no matter what :]

The 'Warbreaker' that ultimately decides when the war with myself is over? 

Me. I decide when to be happy again. I decide what to do with my life. And I am finally deciding to make my summer what I want it to be. :]

biding my time...

Summer is going to be really long this year...

I miss my friends...they are all leaving on missions and are out living their lives, which is excellent :]
I just can't wait til college so I can start living mine again...

Meeting new people is fun though! I have met some awesome people in my college ward here and whatnot.
And i have been keeping myself...entertained, to say the least.
My life is consumed of:
-Reading
-Running
-Pokemon
-Guitar

It's pretty alright :]


Day Seis: Picture of Something That Makes You Happy

Well, i have already shared too many pictures of the friends that make me happy...SO

Things that make me happy:

1. Toms

I am in LOVE with these shoes. 

They are sooo comfy.

And stylish.

AND it's a form of charity

You should buy some of you don't.

Basically, they're the best thing since sliced bread.

2. Smoothies: Specifically Orange Peel.

These things are sooo tasty.

And they make any day of mine much sweeter.

I can NEVER turn down a smoothie run.

It's a tad ridiculous.

And finally, the last of my obsessions that I want to talk about today. You ready for this??

I don't think you are...

But here it goes!

3. HARRY POTTER

...I think the pictures speak for themselves. 

Tis EPIC.

It all ends this summer...

I am sad..

I plan on crying in this: It will be the first time I cry in a movie.

We shall see.

Oh, and I WILL marry Rupert Grint. :]

i love...

people. 

to be more exact, my friends that really care.

Come to find I have lost a couple, which makes me upset...

But, life moves on. 

(doesn't mean I will just yet, but we'll see how things end up)

Is it weird that I pray for on average 10 different friends a day, individually?

I sure hope not haha.

For all of my friends out there that love me and care for me, I pray for you every day. :) 

You guys have given me the strength that I need every day, and I am so grateful for all of you!

Day Cinco: Name a Song That Describes Your Current Mood:

Impossible. There has never been just ONE song that has described what I have been feeling. Ever. I feel like this is going to be a difficult task to embark on...here we go...

I'd have to say that the song that fits my mood RIGHT MEOW would have to be the acoustic version of Suckerpunch by Envy On The Coast.

Why you might ask? For a few reasons:

1. I was just practicing a little guitar, and this is one of the songs I hope to be able to play soon.

2. Envy On The Coast will forever be one of my favorite bands.

3. My best friend, Kason, was the person that showed me this song almost 2 1/2 years ago, and to be honest I have been thinking about him a lot lately. More than usual actually. 

This song has meant a lot to me since the first time I heard it. It kind of has a sense of vulnerability that I love. And at the time that I first listened to this song, I could relate to it in some ways. The lyrics 'Look at my face, does it smile and say I'm okay'?' really used to hit home for me because for a while, I was very shy, and hid myself from people around me. I put on a face for my parents and my siblings so they wouldn't worry about me, but I was really hurting. I had went through a move across the country when I was 16. I was so upset about the move that I didn't talk to anyone, and stayed in my room by myself every day after school for about 4 months straight. This song for some reason made me feel like I wasn't the only one, and that it was okay to be sad sometimes. 

Now when I hear this song, I remember how much I have changed, and I think about my friend Kason, and how much he has helped me for the past couple of years. He is leaving on his mission in less than 3 weeks. I will miss him more than he knows. It will be weird for me to not be able to text him when I need some cheering up, or when I need advice. I know he will probably never read this, but I want him to know that I will never forget him. Kason changed my life. He is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met, and I am so grateful for him and for our friendship. He will be the best missionary these next 18 months. His love for the gospel is so strong. He is so focused on leaving that nothing is going to stop him or distract him. It is amazing for me to see how much the gospel has positively effected his life. Kason is a wonderful example to me. I am so glad that we have been friends for as long as we have. And I know we will continue to be friends forever. Love ya Kason :]

habits

I have a habit of worrying...about everything.

Sometimes, it drives me crazy, and doesn't make any sense.

And sometimes, I actually have a good reason to be worried.

I hope that isn't the case this time....


Day Cuatro: The Rents


So...now is the time I get to brag. I have the BEST parents. Ever.
They are accepting, loving, and always there for me.
I can tell them anything.
We make tons of jokes together.
They are amazing examples.
And they listen.

My Mom:

This is my mom.

A little bit about her: She is 1 of 7 kids in her family. She was born and raised in St. George, Utah and went to Dixie High School. After High School she decided to go and nanny for a family in New York. She loved it so much that after my dad left on his mission, she went back and nannied again. After she got married, she worked for Rocky Mountain Power so she could help support my dad as he finished school. After a few years of working there, my mom became a stay at home mom so she could be there for me and my siblings. 

My mom loves people. Especially teenagers. My friends in high school were her friends too. It is safe to say that she was just as popular as I was in high school, if not more than me haha. She was a second mom to a lot of them. My mom has a way of connecting really well to people. She was there for my friends as an example, and as an extra support system when they needed it. She is non-judgemental, and truly tries to understand. She loves everyone so much.

When my sister was young, my family had a huge scare. My sister had a silent seizure. She froze up and couldn't speak, move, or blink. As the seizure progressed, she even had trouble breathing. My mom was there by her side through the entire ordeal. There was a chance that my sister might end up with brain damage. We were all so scared for her. After her seizure, my sister ended up being just fine. But the doctors told my parents that she had Epilepsy, which means that she will have more seizures, and have them frequently. Since then, my sister has never had another seizure. But this whole story prepared my mom for her true calling in life: to become a Special Education teacher.

My mom is currently working at a local Elementary School as a Para-professional for Special Education children. My mom is a saint. She loves all the kids she works with so much, and she will do anything for them. From helping them eat to scary bathroom incidents, my mom does it all out of love. This job and these kids mean so much to her that she is currently working to get her college degree so she can help more kids in the school system. My mom works a full-time job and goes to college every day, on top of being the Young Women's president. so my siblings don't see her as often as they would like. We all understand that this is what my mom wants, and we know that it will help out family out for the better in the end, so we make do with the time that we have with her.

So basically, my mom does a lot. For our family, and for many families in the area. She is a great influence on all of the kids that she touches every day of her life. I am so lucky to have a mom as great as her in my life. She is the best thing that I could ever ask for. 

I love you mom!

My Dad:

This my my dad.

He is 1 of 5 kids in his family. What makes him stand out is the fact that he is adopted. My grandma and grandpa were told after their first child that they would not be able to have any more kids. So, they adopted my dad from California a few days after he was born. This was a blessing, because after my dad, my grandparents went on to have 3 more kids. My dad was meant to be a son of my grandparents: he just took a little detour on the way there :)

Like my mom, he was born and raised in St. George and went to Dixie High School. He and my mom actually met in high school, but they didn't know each other all that well. They went on one date before his LDS mission to Oklahoma. After that, they wrote each other all the time, and the rest is history. I am so glad my parents met each other. They are perfect for each other. They Just celebrated their 21st anniversary this past Thursday. I am so lucky to have these two lovebirds as my parents.

My dad has always been such a great leader and support for my family. From day one, he has supported my family financially, and with so much love. He is a civil engineer. He is a crazy artist though. My mom always says he should have gotten into the cartoon business and drawn for Disney. He would've done an excellent job in that business, but I'm glad he does what he does, because his job has led my family to the places we were meant to be. 

My dad has always been the jokester of the house. He makes my family laugh on a daily basis. Like my mom, he was way close to my friends in high school too. My parents were so popular out East, it's insane. My friends love them so much and miss them terribly. My dad has recently discovered that he is a diabetic. This was a shocker to everyone because he grew up with healthy sugar levels. Then about 5 or 6 years ago, he got really sick. We took him to the hospital and the doctors discovered that he had really crazy sugar levels. Thankfully, after this discovery, my dad has kept up with himself and has been healthy ever since. A few run-ins with the hospital have happened, but as far as being a diabetic goes, my dad has it down. He takes on this trial head-on and still lives life to its fullest.

I look up to my dad. He has been such a great example to me on how to overcome trials with a smile. I love him so much. 

So as you can see, I am truly blessed to have such wonderful people as my parents. I sincerely hope that one day, I will be as happy with my husband as they are with each other. I love you mom and dad. So much. Thank you for everything you two have given me in my life. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being the best examples I could ever ask for. :)

cause my body's too BOOTILICIOUS for ya babe :P

I wish I could dance...

that would be the most amazing thing ever!

I just finished watching Step Up 3: SO good.

And right before that, I watched the latest episode of my favorite summer show, So You Think You Can Dance.

I may want to take a hip hop dance class this fall at USU now... :)

Reminiscing...

I just realized this morning that I don't miss the high school days. At all.

Everyone went through their awkward stages at the same time.

No one really, and I mean REALLY liked each other.

We all just wanted to be accepted by someone.

And people were mean. More than I realized haha.

Man, I shouldn't help out with Youth Activities anymore...hahaha

yesterday...

I filled over 500 water balloons and threw them at unsuspecting 12 year olds.


I washed my car with my sisters in our driveway.


And I started this blog.


So...a pretty productive day I suppose.

early mornings

I can't sleep past 8:30 in the morning anymore...kinda irritating when I am consistently awake after 2 a.m.

Eh, life is life.

I can't believe im doing this...

Welp, here I am...on a Tuesday night...doing the one thing I said I would never do...


Starting a blog...


The 2 main reasons why I'm starting this blog:


This girl:

                                                   Sherece Bledsoe






And this girl:

                   Becca Fitzgerald








Wanna know why?? Because I have been reading their blogs for the past forever, and I love them! So...I'm going to attempt to write blog posts as well as they do. Ready...go!




Okay, so to start off this thingy...I'm going to introduce myself somewhat and try to sum up the past year of my life. Ooh boy...




This is me:

I am 19 years old. I have red hair. And I like to smile. A lot. Because smiling makes days more magical, or whatever. :P

(more to come later, promise)




This past year I attended Utah State University: a.k.a. the BEST place in the world. More magical than Disneyland, and Neverland, and whatever other place you think is great. USU beats them all, hands down.


Wanna know why? I met so many people that changed my life, and I found out more about myself than ever before. I found myself at Utah State, making friendships that will last forever.


So..now im going to switch gears and talk about these people a bit, since these people have been on my mind non-stop since I have been home for summer vacay:
(in roughly the order I met them over the course of the year)




First off is Tiffany Prince: my sister and former roommate

This is her :) and her other half. Yep! She is married. To the best man for her possible. But before she went off and moved on in her life, we lived together in a 15' by 8' room. We didn't know each other well before we got to USU. Come to find out we were both kind of nervous about being roommates: at first. That quickly faded away. We clicked better than I ever would have hoped for. We had music classes together (lots of frustrating music theory classes in which we taught the class, rather than the teacher) and we stayed up late, talking for hours. She was more open than I was, which I regret now. We got into this habit of  calling each other during the day and checking up on each other to make sure we were both having good days. We had many lunches together, and many funny moments that will never leave my memories (mumu boy, friendship line graphs, snowflakes, leaves, and showing each other new music). Tiffany helped me through so many frustrating times. She was always on my side, supporting me and loving me for who I am/ Tiffany became family to me in less than 5 months. I love her and miss her dearly. I am so glad we roomed together. Thank you Tiffany, for showing me what truly matters in life, and for being the example I needed this year (: 






this is going to be a looonnnggg post...if you are reading it you can just go to your part in the post to save you time if you'd like [:






Next would have to be Hannah Bateman:

This girl has been my best friend since my junior year of high school, and I am SO grateful for her and our friendship. She came to USU this past year with me, and it was SO AWESOME! She needed a better English program for her major, so she came to college with me. Hannah has been with me through SO much, it's insane. She is in France atm (ikr?? crazy!) so I miss her, naturally. She and I are basically the same person on a ton of levels, which makes it easy for me to open up to her. She knows everything about me, and I'm pretty sure I know everything about her. We take too many webcam photos together, it's true. And we watch NCIS and Law and Order SVU a lot, but never too much, because we have decided that you can NEVER have too much SVU or NCIS. Long story short, I love her. We will be friends forever. Our kids will be friends, ya, you get the point :P




Kenneth James Fryar-Ludwig

I'm pretty sure I love this boy. Wanna know why? Because he has been my one constant friend through all of my USU days. He knows more about me than any other boy I have met in a long time. He cares. About life, achievement, and me. I am so blessed to have met this kid. He brought me flowers when I was sad, gave me hugs when he knew I needed them, and would go out of his way just to come talk with me until I fell asleep. I miss him, more than he knows. He blogged about me once: I love that post to this day, because it reminds me that I am loved. Kenny fixes everyone's computers, and isn't afraid to dance at a concert or dance party. He showed me that confidence is everything. Kenny changed my life. He is leaving on an LDS mission in a few months, and I am so proud of him. He has a strong testimony. Kenny, if you ever read this, just know that I know you will go places in life. And i love you. Always will. Thank you for taking the time to get to know the real me. Thank you for caring (:




Andrew Simpson

This is probably one of the most attractive boys I have ever met: inside and out. Andrew, I am so glad we met. Because of you, I was able to share my musical interests with someone who actually knew what I was talking about. I will never forget playing cards with you (and WINNING, might I add). You were there for me whenever I needed you. We played Go once.....ha never again :) and lots of halo and gears! Midnight pizza with you and your roommates are some of my favorite memories because you boys made me feel special. Your writing is absolutely amazing, and I'm glad you value my feedback as much as you do. I love the fact that we still talk often even after college is over :) Our drive home from the concert is a night that will stay with me forever. Your love for the gospel has single-handedly boosted my own spirituality. Uruguay has got one of the best missionaries heading its way. Knock em dead kid :) You showed me that being true to yourself is very important. I truly consider you one of my best friends. You are amazing, don't ever forget that. Love you kid :)




Sherece Bledsoe

This girl is quite amazing. :) Sherece, you are beautiful, talented, and understanding. Talking to you and getting to know you over the past semester has been one of my highlights of college. We are so much alike, more than I initially expected. Dancing with you for the talent show was LEGIT (why we didn't win STILL astounds me). Stalking Becca and Brant in Walmart is one of my favorite memories with you :) You inspire me to be a better person. You care so much about everyone. You have so much love! It's insane. We have been through a lot of the same experiences in life, and because of that I feel like we understand each other completely. I miss seeing you everyday and dancing to music with you! AY BAY-BAY! I can't wait to see you when we get back up to college in the fall! I am so happy for you because you are pursuing your musical talents. Dream big Sherece. You will go far, I know it :)




Becca Fitzgerald

                          Yeah, we're thug in this pic. Jelly??


Becca, you are one amazing girl. I hope you realize that. You have influenced so many people in your life. I have seen your effects on people that mean a lot to the both of us, and it is wonderful. I am so glad we met this year. We got to know each other really well, especially over the last couple months! Building forts and going to Betos with you are definitely in my top favorite memories. And the stake dance. And just staying up late talking with our friends. You inspire me to be a better person. You have such a powerful testimony, and just being around you made me feel better. I am so glad you got to come to Vegas! That was awesome :) I am glad you like me for all  my quirky things I like to do. I can NOT wait for theme thursdays this fall! I  miss you so much! Thank you for being an awesome example and friend to me. Love you girl!




Brant Stanley

Oh Brant, I miss you. I am so glad I got to know you as well as I did over the last semester. The weekend of General Conference was literally the start of our friendship. I miss our long talks that usually lasted into the mornings. You made me feel important. Our last night in Logan was seriously one of my highlights of the entire year: longboarding, youtube videos, laughing, enjoying our last night as friends together. I am so glad you broke your ankle the night we hung out. I will always play spoons and think of you haha. I am so sad we won't be able to see each other for a while, but I'm very grateful for the friendship we made over the last couple months. I will never forget you Brant Stanley. I miss you!




Dylan Makemson

Oh Dylan, my best friend. You are one great guy. I am sooo glad you came swimming with us on our first night of the start of our many adventures together. You brightened up my life for the past few months that I have known you.Through all the nights of risk, forts, and endless mario kart and super smash, we became so close. I miss being able to call you and have you in my room in less than 5 minutes. Even though I hate talking about my feelings, I'm glad we had so many of those amazing talks that we had. Because of you, I feel pretty every day. I am so grateful for you and for our friendship. I will never forget you Dylan, and how special you make me feel. Best friends forever :)




I have been so blessed to have met such amazing people this year. You all will always hold a place in my heart. Thank you for being such awesome friends to me :)